We like to recognise women’s empowerment when it is loud and visible. But a recent disagreement with a close friend made me wonder whether we have been looking in the wrong places. We had spent years debating feminism, double standards and women’s freedom. So, when she told me she was happy choosing a quieter life than the one I imagined for her, I struggled to understand it. When I pushed her about ambition and choosing a higher-paying job, she shrugged. “Not everyone wants to be so career-driven,” she said. “I’m happy.” Gradually, I realised that the source of my discomfort came from my own assumptions about women, power and agency. What if we have been looking for women’s empowerment only in its loudest forms?

Beyond loud resistance

There has been a long-held pattern of celebrating those who refuse, protest, and disrupt (much to their credit). But most young women don’t find themselves navigating power imbalances in press conferences or parliaments. They encounter it at the dining table, in the office, at weddings and in the unspoken expectations placed on them even before they learn how to name them. Young women in South Asia, for example, are often raised in ways that reward a particular set of values. To be soft-spoken and show deference to elders is to be virtuous and mature. Shyness is read as modesty, and obedience as character.

Scholars like Saba Mahmood remind us that agency does not always look like defiance and confrontation. It could take the form of subtle negotiations within settings where their voice is valued or quietly extending the limits of what they have been told is possible. Consider a situation, where a young woman in her early twenties delays pressures to get married early by pursuing higher education and being open about her passion for extended learning. Looking at the various ways in which women navigate power also lays out important lessons for what those navigations make possible.

This not-so-loud resistance by women can in fact be seen on the daily. These actions are often the result of power imbalances seen in who speaks in meetings, who defers, and who is seen as credible. The political scientist James C. Scott describes these as “hidden transcripts;” moments when people outwardly comply with authority but quietly and subtly push back in everyday life. While some of these ‘quieter’ acts may look insignificant, they reflect strategic negotiations of power, rather than passive acceptance.

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Not-so-loud resistance in practice

This dynamic can be seen in Sandya Hewamanne’s study of Sri Lankan garment factory workers. In garment factories (usually hierarchical and precarious), young women are expected to be docile, obedient and respectable. Yet, Hewamanne observes how some female workers consume media like the popular magazine Priyadari (containing sexual innuendo) as a mode of symbolic negotiation. By collectively reading Priyadari’s advice columns, which include romance, sexuality and modern femininity, these women claim a space for themselves to discuss and question dominant norms. These practices do not disturb the oppressive factory hierarchies, but they do allow women to re-imagine ideas about desire and autonomy within the limits of wage labour. The women’s choice to openly consume stigmatised media is not necessarily loud, but a subtle reshaping of what is acceptable in oppressive settings.

A similar pattern is observed in Western Mali during a community-driven development project, where women are seen to strategically comply with male-dominated public decision-making while quietly resisting control over their labour and earnings. Instead of confronting male authority in village meetings, women carved out influence in other ways outside the meetings. They did this by maintaining control over small earnings, pooling money with other women and delaying compliance instead of outright refusal. These strategies are pragmatic and served to preserve the women’s social stability while gradually securing some level of material control.

Comparative research among Chinese immigrant women also complicates traditional ideas of resistance. There is evidence of migrant women publicly embracing narratives of devotion and hard work. But privately, these women would work long hours and send remittances only selectively, or delay marriage by citing work obligations. Others even built support networks, allowing them to change jobs quietly instead of openly confronting exploitative employers. These women do this as a way of strategically navigating labour markets that are racialised by nature. Compliance in such situations is a survival tactic, especially when their legal and economic conditions are unstable.

These examples complicate the way we traditionally understand agency and empowerment. In the media, power is frequently framed as a very visible model of empowerment, such as a confident, outspoken ‘girl boss’ who challenges authority head-on. While women like this matter, they only represent one way of navigating power. A vast majority of women, especially those living in constrained social or economic settings, exercise power in ways that are quieter and less recognisable. Knowing and deciding when to conform, when to delay and where to push can itself be a form of power.

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Recognising complexity

Scholars like Sumi Madhok argue that agency is often only recognised when it results in some kind of action like open confrontation. This assumption overlooks subtler ways in which people negotiate power within their circumstances. Choosing when to comply or when to delay are deliberate strategies. These acts may not dismantle structural inequalities overnight, but they show how people work within the limits of their environments to find room for dignity, joy and survival.

Recognising this complexity also requires attention to context. Women’s experiences are never identical. The ways in which they choose to exercise power can vary across location, class, migration status and cultural norms. What can look like silence or passivity in one context could be careful calculation in another. It is shaped by constraints and possibilities at a given time and place.

At the same time, spaces like social media have opened alternative channels through which young women can speak, organise and challenge regressive narratives. For some, these spaces serve as places to discuss their experiences and find solidarity and support. However, online spaces can be a double-edged sword because digital visibility can expose women to harassment, surveillance and new forms of social pressure.

Ultimately, recognising these layered dynamics invites us to complicate our understanding of power and agency. Instead of looking for the loudest acts of resistance, it is worth noticing the quieter ways people navigate unequal settings. Examples like the ones above are not outliers, they are everywhere, if we pause long enough to notice them... In our families, workplaces and in the choices people around us make to negotiate power within constraints.

Disclaimer 

The views expressed in this opinion piece are those of the author/s and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of IDS.